i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
