if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
