This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
