its not stalking. its research.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
be right there i have to get my cape
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
