just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
