I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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