the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We are two peas in an std pod
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
