you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
