OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
