You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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