I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
