When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
