Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
