y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
did i walk over a car last night?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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