im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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