It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize