Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize