I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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