Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
