Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
