My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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