dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
