You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
