You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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