we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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