guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
