Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize
