it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All the doctor said was why
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
