before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize