I need help removing her.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
