the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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