i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
