well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
