it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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