Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...

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(269): View more from Michigan

P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.

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(765): View more from Indiana

My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.

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(602): View more from Arizona

You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any

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(702): View more from Nevada

I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.

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