a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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