My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
