I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
