She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
