You really coming over, don't trick.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
