it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize