how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
