please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i think i have two assholes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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