we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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