Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
