Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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