Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We are two peas in an std pod
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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