i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
