i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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