You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
