I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
