as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
