I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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