I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
