Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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