he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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