After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize