new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
