guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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