hell yes lets make some ravioli
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
