Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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