Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
honey bunches of taint.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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