Its about making memories worth repressing
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
