Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
